9 Comments
User's avatar
Monica Nastase's avatar

I agree that "making it work" in third spaces is a little more difficult than it sounds at first, even in highly social cultures like Spain. Here yes, people socialize a lot in third spaces, in cafes, in front of the church, in plazas, but I feel it's always tight-knit groups of people who seem to have known each other since first grade. Even if there are third spaces and they are full of groups of people, how do you penetrate and integrate into one?

Also yes - where you live is so important! I moved out of the big city into a smaller suburb with the main purpose of finding more community. And I did find it; the size of the town makes encounters easier somehow, the social circles overlap so much more than in very big cities.

Expand full comment
Edward's avatar

I agree – even if Spain is one of the best examples, it's far from easy street. So much work to do here.

I used to live in a small town Monica. It had its drawbacks but what was amazing was I could go to 'town' on my own, sit in a bar, and about 80% of the time there would be somebody there I knew. It was great! (This has its drawbacks too of course)

Expand full comment
Monica Nastase's avatar

I do prefer it to big cities, although yes it has its drawbacks :)

What made you go back to a big city? For me, the only part I truly miss is easier access to culture, museums, events, etc. Not much else...

Expand full comment
Edward's avatar

I was moving back to Ireland and I guess I felt pressure to meet new people and re-connect with old friends, and most of them were in Dublin which is the only city of any considerable size in Ireland, but I'm still not sure it's big! It's not small either – worst or best of both worlds, who knows 🤔

Expand full comment
Monica Nastase's avatar

Worst of both worlds... hahah I hope not! I've never visited Dublin..

Expand full comment
Edward's avatar

It's definitely great...for Guinness

Expand full comment
Monica Nastase's avatar

I'll remember that nuance. I love Guinness though...

Expand full comment
Drake Greene's avatar

You are so right about living in the kind of place that provides this kind of interaction. And it is not just a question of having a lot of people around. There needs to be a culture of conversation in the bars, cafes and clubs.

Age makes a difference too. I know a lot of people around 30 years old who post Covid lost the ability to engage in spontaneous conversation.

Expand full comment
Edward's avatar

The difference is night and day. And that’s terrifying about young people losing social skills

Expand full comment